I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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