i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
