Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Of course I have a pirate flag
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
