I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
