I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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