jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
