saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
