yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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