But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
