is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
