Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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