why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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