So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
