I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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