So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This baby is an asshole
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
