His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Farmville is her only friend.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Enjoy the penises
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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