Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
stop calling my apartment porn island.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
