fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
