whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
