your room smells of hookers.
And success
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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