took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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