where does the pee come out of this thing
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
