I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
