We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
