i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize