Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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