a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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