Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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