I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
