im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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