You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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