bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
