Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
tell me about the fingering
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