They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
