dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
