y did u give ur computer a hand job?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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