it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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