The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
