butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
