So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
