I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
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Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
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It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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