I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
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I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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