I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Someone shattered a urinal.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
