She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
third nipple confirmed
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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