high people should be assigned attendants
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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