Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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