his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
