Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
