He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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