For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
