So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
