Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Randomize
