So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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