Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Naked Twister starts at high noon
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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