She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
