the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
