i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
