i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
