she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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