i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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