and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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