glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
