My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
