But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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