Heybabeimwearingurpanties
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
